On crying in the dressing room.

Thursday, April 24, 2014
We've all been there, I'm sure. Especially those of us whose bodies were transformed after becoming mothers.

I've cried out of sadness, frustration, and disbelief. Throwing tops and pants to the ground because when you hold them up you think "hmm, that looks about right". But our eyes play tricks on us when it comes to our bodies. We transform so slowly in either direction that sometimes it's hard to realize what we are once it's time to buy new clothes.

Of course body size isn't everything, yada, yada, yada. But when you've been working as hard as we have, it is kind of a big deal. And despite the puppies and rainbows a lot of people try to throw, the majority of people do, in fact, care about their body image and its related size.

The last time I cried about clothes was as I stated in the last blog, on Christmas Eve morning when I tried on nearly everything I thought should have fit. But it didn't. I ended up squeezing into a dress whose popped buttons around my mid section were hidden by a giant belt. Any of the jeans I had I was barely able to button and if I got them on it wasn't pretty. It wasn't pretty at all. Tears of sadness, frustration and wtf, how did this happen?! (I mean, duh, I had 3 kids, so technically, I DO know how it happened, but it doesn't make it an excuse, or ok).

Today, I had tears again. But they were a very different kind. A kind I've never, ever experienced before. Tears of happiness because it finally hit me how much I've transformed my body as I looked for a new pair of jeans at American Eagle.

I've officially dropped 3 whole sizes at American Eagle and Old Navy. Three. It blows my mind. The size I bought today I could not have gotten over my knees pre-kids. Pre-kids. While the scale still has a higher number than my high-school/early college weight, I'm smaller than I have ever been, because I have muscles and I'm toned. I have hated my butt and thighs my ENTIRE adult life, and now that I finally got off the couch to do something about it, I'm smaller than I've ever been. and.I'm.happy.

I grabbed the size I thought I had reached (based on looking at their measurements online.). They worked. I put them on easy. Just for kicks, I asked the girl to get me the next size down.

They went on, I wasn't pouring into them and they fit like a glove and buttoned with ease. I stood there in disbelief, tears running down my face, as I texted Ryan, "OMFG",  wearing two sizes smaller than I had when I worked there 8 years ago prior to marriage and kids.

On the bottom, the pants I could barely button at Christmas. On top, the pants I purchased today.

I know there is a fine line between what's "accepted" and what's "too big" or "too skinny". I don't know if I've reached the latter in some people's eyes, but I am barely 5'2". I don't get a lot of wiggle room being this short. and I still have curves. and I'm not starving myself. i eat. I've had tons of people tell me I looked great before. My starting weight put my BMI at the very top of average. One more point and I would have been considered "overweight".

When I started this journey with Ryan, my realistic expectation was to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight and size. I tossed old jeans at Christmas out of the frustration that they'd NEVER fit me again. As it turns out, I'd be tossing them anyway as they'd be too big now.

Never could I have imagined I'd be smaller than what I was pre kids. Pre-kids Jenna may have weighed a little less than this, but she wasn't fit, in the least.

I obviously won't share numbers or size outright, but I'm an open book. So if you really want to know how my size and numbers and measurements have fluctuated, you can message me.

So if you are reading this and have been that girl/mom crying in the dressing room or closet like I had so many times, DON'T GIVE UP. You CAN do this. You can change your body to what makes YOU happy, as that image is different for everyone. This is why I wrote this. We CAN make the changes we want to see. I didn't believe it myself 4 months ago. I'm here because of hard work, determination, and a crazy supportive husband who didn't let me give up.

Read my previous post for even more motivation. :)


Allison Preston said...

Awesome results! These 2 posts have totally renewed my confidence that I can lose some weight before my wedding!! Did you use the whole Brazil Butt Lift series? Or just the 20 min toning?

Jenna said...

I did the original one (I think!). The one that had "Bum Bum", "Cardio Axe", "Tummy Tuck", "High and Tight"---my FAV! and "Sculpt" :)

Allison Preston said...

Yep, definitely just ordered it. I creeped a little on your other post and thanks to what little knowledge I have left of high school algebra, realized your "before" measurements are pretty much my current ones- including height. Thanks for all the honest info- definitely a push in the right direction for me! Enjoy your tiny little jeans!!

Jenna said...

Privately message me on fb and I'll send you my before and after numbers :)

Amanda said...

Ok...just ordered T25 and already love SkinnyTaste! I just had baby #3 and need to seriously loose some of this extra weight! Really excited when I saw your post...so much motivation! I am really excited to get started with T25...a little nervous too. However, I am ready to be able to wear shorts...have not worn them in YEARS!!! :)

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