Why yes, I do, in fact, LOVE motherhood.

Thursday, February 19, 2015
It's come to my attention that yesterday's "Day in the Life" post could have come across as me being an ungrateful work from home mom (because, I do, in fact, run a biz here), or that I simply don't enjoy motherhood.

That couldn't be further from the truth.

Yesterday's post was merely to make other moms (who have commented on how I'm a super mom) feel better that "No, I'm definitely NOT a super mom." I don't think of myself as one. I never have it all together, and I've definitely never thought I've EVER had it all together. Something is always neglected on purpose, or purely forgotten, not on purpose.

There is always chaos. Always. Motherhood (and parenting in general) is anything but a walk in the park.

There are beautiful moments. The baby placed in your arms for the first time. Snuggles. The first "I wuv you." The pride in something they created, "just for you mama". The milestones. The "I need one more hug, mama."


But, as my post, which was strictly written as a narrative of an average day I picked out of no where showed you, a lot of motherhood is mundane. The laundry never stops. The dishes never stop. Something is always spilled, dropped, broken, lost, and someone always has something somebody else wants. Just because.


And that's ok. That's life. No one has to love wiping butts. It doesn't make you a better or worse mother if you are like me and hope that you never ever have to take a coat off of one child so that the other child can puke into it while you stand in the sporting good section of Target. I can really do without that stuff, and I have a sneaking suspicion that even when my children are grown, I actually won't miss catching puke. Shocker. But forgive me for thinking that yes, I AM still a good mother.



Yesterday was a perfect example of a busy day. To and from dance, to and from Target, a doctor appointment for me, quick lunches, early/short naps, and not being here when Henry got home from the bus. Was it an average day? Yes. Did it have more chaos and less play and snuggles and downtime than other average days? Yes.

Just because I was exhausted and enjoyed a quiet 30 minutes alone at Target doesn't make me a bad mother. It just makes me an exhausted mother. You know, like ALL of us who are in the trenches of parenting multiple young children under the age of 6 are? Like anyone who was once in those trenches at a different season of life. You know the trench where the noise never stops? That one. Quiet alone time is refreshing and completely necessary to maintain some level of sanity.


You can tell me I'll miss this. And you are right. Most of it, for sure, anyway. Being a mother is a beautiful thing, and this growing up stuff is happening too fast. But how difficult it is. How anxiety ridden it can be. How exhausting it always is. That's not null and void because I will, in fact, miss it all someday. It still gets to be hard, because it is hard, and that's the season of motherhood I'm in.


I love these littles. With absolutely every ounce of my being. I would give my life for them. I have sacrificed pieces of me, but gained so much more becoming a mother. The daily nuances and frustrations that come along with being a mother don't change any of that. I get to love my children. And I get to be exhausted too. And I get to get excited about alone time at Target.

They make me laugh::

"Mama, I tink dat shirt is too big. I can see your boo-boos. Your boo-boos are falling out."

They make me cry::

"Mama, you're the best mama in the whole wide world. I never want to have another mama."

Those are the moments I know I will miss. I know it.


I wouldn't change any part of my life. I have three amazing kiddos and one fantastic, smart and handsome husband by my side. And I do realize that it's going by too fast. But as seasons of life end, new ones begin.


Henry's pride in bringing home worksheets with perfectly written sentences will soon turn into pride over science projects, more soccer goals, and acing that really hard history test.

The cheers for Claire to go poop on the potty will soon be cheers at a soccer game. And dance recitals. And spelling bees.

The clapping for Norah's perfect imitation of a new word will change to applause for pooping on the potty, and any or all of the other things for either kid I mentioned above. And ALL of that is awesome.

Point being, I am enjoying what I have. But I also look forward to all that is to come. Including the one day that I get to dance with my son on his wedding day and zip up the wedding dresses of my daughters.


I am who I am today because I became a mother. Before I was a mother, I was a special education teacher. 6 years into motherhood and I'm a work from home photographer with a pretty decent and successful business. These children literally changed the course of my life. A life where I can be creative, work from home, and freeze a few of these memories for us and a whole bunch of other awesome clients. And for that I am grateful. Never could that 24 year old pregnant me ever have imagined how my life would be shaped and changed by them.


I may not fully enjoy vomit, the never ending dishes/laundry, or that feeling that never goes away that you must be forgetting something. Because I am.

But it certainly doesn't mean I don't enjoy motherhood or the fact that along with their father, these little miracles are ours to shape into beautiful people. And that's an amazing thing.


Motherhood is hard. It's really, really hard. But it's so beautiful. And it's exactly what I want.


1 comment:

costlules said...

I used to be going to say as an alternative is that it has grow to be increasingly more a behavior to take breaks from my work day routine, talking from four hour straight worktime in a row to chunk of works in 20-60 minute bursts.


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